I had the best day at work today.
I can truly say I’ve never felt better. You could even say that I, well, I…
I’m almost embarrassed to say it to you, because the feeling has been so foreign to me for so long.
Sorry, I don’t mean to yell.
It’s just, as you know, I’ve worked at the same desk job for fifteen years now, and for every, single, one of those 15 years, I never got up from my chair. Not even for lunch!
Until today, everyone at work actually used to call me “The Chair,” because I think they thought I actually became one – a chair.
I think I became a CHAIR PERSON.
Seriously, even my cubicle-mate stopped talking to me because he thought no one was actually sitting there at my desk space.
He LITERALLY thought I was just a chair.
Anyway, today was different though, and I know that every day from now on it will be different too. I’m not a CHAIR person anymore; I’m a CHANGED person! I feel blood pumping through my veins again!!
I feel the wind in my teeth again!! (That’s because I’ve been trying out this other new thing too. It’s something that happens on my face, and it’s called SMILING. Who knew!?)
AND, my skin no longer feels like old-office-chair pleather; now it feels like buttah!
So, you know what did it? Do you know WHY I feel this way now?
Do you wanna know why I feel SHATTERPROOF and completely FLAWLESS now!?
No Diary, it WASN’T a promotion to Manager. It wasn’t even a catered lunch from my favorite barbecue shack – the one with the best macaroni and cheese in town – you know the one. I’ve talked to you about it incessantly.
Today I felt SUPERCHARGED® because today – instead of sitting all day – I enjoyed the glorious experience of…
Yes, I decided to finally stand up for myself. I know you’re proud of me.
And you know what else I did?
I realized it was TIME TO GO. It’s like my body knew it was time for me to sweat it out. It was time for me to take charge of my life again, to physically – and emotionally – detach myself from that silly chair, to let down my hair, and to move it right there in my cubicle.
My heart is still all aflutter, and I know this all seems crazy, but I was even inspired to do push-ups too!
And jumping jacks!
I EVEN HAD A DANCE PARTY EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR!!
What’s more, now I’m even getting married to my cubicle mate!
We’re going to the courthouse tomorrow. His name’s Larry. He’s great. He actually loves exercising at the office too. He made me a very impressive ring out of bent paper clips.
Anywhoooooooooo, I must say, it’s really been a great day.
Tammy, who refuses to sit down any longer.
What are your favorite office-workout moves?
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